I was talking with some coworkers this week, B who has been there almost a year and K, the woman I’m training to be my replacement. We were joking about a number of things, and B made a self-deprecating joke about being gay. I followed up with a self-deprecating joke about being trans, and turned to K, saying, “You know I’m trans, right?”
That’s been my general coming out tactic lately, and I think I’ve mentioned it once or twice before on this blog. Today, K paused (awkwardly, I felt) and said, “Oh, yeah.”
Continue reading '“You know I’m trans, right?”'»
This is the letter of resignation I sent in today. I talked with my boss after our staff meeting, and he said he was “sad, but not surprised.” I’ll be phasing out my time at work over the next 1-2 months to train my (yet-to-be-hired) successor. I’m super terrified and excited (lots more to come on that) and apologize for not having written much lately. This is a big part of why.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
It is with regret that I submit this letter of resignation for the position of General Manager, even though I look forward to the opportunities ahead. My time at [work] has not been without its ups and downs, but I have learned an unspeakable amount and found much more pleasure working at [work] than frustration.
Ultimately, I am leaving to pursue my own artistic passions. Working at [work] full time while attempting to give myself the artistic room and focus I need has been extremely difficult. In the end, it has been unsustainable, forcing me to choose between an organization and a community about which I care deeply, and creating work of my own.
It has not been an easy decision to come to, and I can only hope it is the right one.
Continue reading 'I quit!'»
I’m really seriously considering sending in my letter of resignation. I’ve already decided to look for a new job, and have been going on interviews and sending out resumes and cover letters, but I’m close to quitting without having found a replacement job.
I feel like a fool for even considering that. And I feel like my heart has already made up its mind.
Continue reading 'Should I quit?'»
I’m about ready to quit. I’ve been at my job a little over two and a half years, and it’s been an up-and-down experience. Ultimately, I really like the organization, love the people I’m immediately working with, and can’t stand my bosses. I should clarify that my bosses are amazing artists. They’re kind to animals, don’t litter, and are generally good people. But they’re shitty bosses.
They communicate poorly (both with each other and their employees), aren’t respectful or appreciative, are dismissive and rude, always assume the worst – both of situations and individuals – and they’re slowly driving me insane.
So I think I’m going to actively start looking for another job, and put in my notice as soon as I find one. (Hopefully sooner rather than later.)
Continue reading 'Should I stay or should I go?'»
Last night was the big fundraising and show-opening benefit. I ended up working for a little over 14 hours, from shortly before 10AM until just about midnight.
The building was closing at midnight, which meant that everyone needed to be out. I remember (and text messages with coworkers confirm) that at about 11:40PM there were still maybe a dozen people in our very small office. I apparently decided that it would be a good idea to sing a version of “All Around the Mullberry Bush” that culminated with me yelling “BECCA NEEDS YOU TO GET OUT OF THE BUILDING!” I was not drunk – I’d had a single small drink – but I was extremely tired.
My boss was there, but took slight mental breakdown with good humor.
I’ve started looking for a new job. This was an extremely hard decision for me to come to, as there are lots of things I like about my current job: I’m working in the arts, I really like my immediate coworkers, it’s a pretty laid-back office environment, I have some nice perks (like free classes), and I’m damn good at it. But the drawbacks have started to feel like they outweigh the positives. Namely, my bosses and the fact that I’ve been there since before transitioning, and feel trapped in that history of my pre-transition self.
Today, though, I’m going to try and start thinking about looking for a new job as an opportunity to look for something, rather than run away from something.
Continue reading 'Looking forward instead of back'»
My job allows students to take classes for barter, meaning they have to do one hour of work for us for every hour of class time. The work varies – it’s usually filing in the office, but sometimes it’s painting sets, helping clean storage, helping to manage the first day of class, and so on.
We have one barter student, I’ll call him Steve, who is a bit much. He’s really friendly, and very enthusiastic about helping out. He loves taking classes and, without a doubt, is dedicated to doing whatever job is given to him. And yet…
Continue reading 'Hugsent (hug consent)'»
I work in a city-owned building, where artists and arts organizations rent out rooms. This morning, I went to the building office to pick up a replacement key for a door whose locks had changed. (Because the city is master of all locks, and in charge of keys.) I’m friendly with the building secretary, JS, and when I went to pick up the key she said she was annoyed with EU, a friend of mine who also works in the building and had put in the replacement key request for me. (Isn’t bureaucracy awesome?)
I asked why, and she showed me the key request EU had put in. Specifically, my name.
That’s right, EU had put my male name -slash- Rebecca.
Continue reading 'One Step Back, One Step Forward'»
So, as I mentioned, I was groped at a work event last weekend by someone, D, who was volunteering (and sometimes worked for us). I talked about it with my coworkers and my bosses, all of whom agreed it was super-creepy, totally unacceptable, and needed some sort of response from the organization.
Well, today the special events director, RW called the guy who did it. She started the conversation something along the lines of, “So I wanted to discuss the…incident…that happened this past weekend at the benefit. Do you know what I’m talking about?”
At that point, D responded, “Wait, are you joking? You mean when I grabbed [male name]’s fake boob?”
The full story below…
Continue reading 'Do I feel better or worse?'»
Sorry for the title, but I couldn’t come up with a good rhyme… Although RhymeZone.com suggests ‘lesser,’ ‘professor,’ ‘successor,’ and ‘air compressor’ as possible alternatives… (Also, sorry for being remiss in posting. I think the big reason for that is all the stuff listed below.)
Anyway, I’ve been stressing: having trouble getting to sleep, feeling nervous and panic-y, all the stuff I was talking about in early December.
I realized one of the things that helped me then was listing all the stressors, so I figured I’d try that again now:
- Relationship/transitioning issues with G
- Feeling like I don’t have enough time for all the things in my life and for myself. ‘All the things in my life’ includes:
- Monday: Therapy
- Tuesday: Workshop rehearsal for the piece I’m directing (and now, conflicting, a weekly theatre thing with friends)
- Wednesday: Trans youth group
- Thursday: Workshop class I’m teaching (starts next week)
- Friday: Blissfully nothing, and the stress of using downtime ‘well’
- Saturday: A class I’m taking; more Workshop rehearsal
- Sunday: Rehearsal for a friend’s recital piece that I don’t really want to do but am doing as a favor to her
- (And, of course, a full-time job)
- Money, specifically paying off hair removal (3/4 of the way there, but I want it off my back)
- Buying a new wardrobe (partially linked to ‘money’; I have, like, six or seven tops that I can reasonably wear to work that I just keep cycling through)
- Feeling insecure in the transition (to be the subject of a longer post, one of these days)
Boo! Stress, stress, go away, and don’t come back another day!