Posts tagged: humor

S’mores on the roof

By , September 26, 2010 9:01 pm

Last night, my roommate and I (with some other friends) decided to set up a tent on the roof and make s’mores over tea candles.

S'mores in a tent on a roof

Smores. In a tent. On a roof.

It was quite a bit of fun. We sang camp songs, kept relighting the shitty tea candles, and made delicious s’mores. (Some even with Kit Kats! Yum! Peanut butter, chocolate, and Nutella, oh my!) For all that, my roommate made the foolish decision to try and sleep up there.

Tent on the roof

Tent on the roof

It was definitely tent-appropriate temperature, but it was starting to rain, was pretty windy, and we had no way to secure the tent stakes. So, about 30 minutes later, she came down and decided to pass at sleeping on the roof.

Urban Dictionary

By , September 22, 2010 10:26 pm

(Inspired by Hyperbole and a Half.)

I fare pretty well at Urban Dictionary. Searching for Rebecca gives me this:

Rebecca Definition, number 1

Obviously.

And this:

Rebecca definition, number 2

Also pretty nice

Indeed, all the definitions on the first page of results are pretty complimentary. But what about nicknames?

Continue reading 'Urban Dictionary'»

Boobless boob job

By , August 31, 2010 1:44 pm

Obligatory plug: Uncovering the Mirrors opens tomorrow! Get your tickets today!

In other news, this link has been sitting in my ‘drafts’ folder for a while while. Jezebel had a post on “Boob jobs that don’t involve actual boob jobs,” including

That seems like a reasonable claim to make...

There’s also bras and bra inserts, hypnotism, and “boob slapping.” Good stuff.

I’m the classiest

By , August 30, 2010 11:22 am
Pin-Up girl

Just like this. Except I wasn't vacuuming. Or in a dress. Or in heels. Really, nothing like this at all.

My room opens out to the apartment dining room. One of my roommates has been working from home lately, and he often sets up his laptop and materials on the dining room table.

This morning, I’ve been in a bit of a rush (though I obviously paused long enough to write this post…) and was trying to pay bills while getting dressed. I had my shorts on, but hadn’t gotten around to putting on a shirt or bra, when I realized I needed the tape dispenser from the other room.

You can probably see where this is going.

Forgetting I was topless, I boldly opened my door to my roommate working. At which point I remembered I was topless, helpfully squeaked, “I have no top on!” and retreated to my room.

I’m the classiest.

Transitioning as a frog

By , August 28, 2010 10:36 am

Earlier this week, my director and I were discussing metaphors for transitioning. I was saying that transitioning is something I’ve mostly been able to acknowledge in retrospect. Everything I did seemed to be in tiny, incremental changes, regardless of how I am able to understand its significance now. And so I come up with a new transitioning metaphor: that of a frog being boiled alive.

Supposedly, if you place a frog in cold water and slowly bring the temperature to a boil, the frog is too stupid to notice and hop out. (Wikipedia says it may be true, if the temperature rise is slow enough.) I’m not saying I was too stupid to notice the transition, but I do stop and wonder sometimes at how different my life is than it was just a few scant years ago.

Ribbit! Ribbit!

Warm and bubbly

Warm and bubbly

“You know that’s why I transitioned, right?”

By , August 21, 2010 9:55 pm

A joke response to the following…

“Becca, you’re such a musical theatre dork.”

“Formal clothing for women is so much more light-weight than for men!”

“Your long hair is so beautiful!”

“You have such good skin.”

“So you hate beer and only like fruity drinks?”

Any others y’all can think of?

Vuvuzelas and topless drinks

By , July 31, 2010 4:06 pm

First, some topless humor from when I was out in Andersonville today. Tapas las Ramblas is a great tapas place down the street from me, and I saw this out this afternoon:

image

If I weren’t wearing a dress, I’d have been very tempted to take them up on their offer…

Continue reading 'Vuvuzelas and topless drinks'»

Bad Sex Jokes

By , May 18, 2010 5:12 pm

I’m going on a date tonight (oooh) and a coworker was joking with me about it. “Don’t put out! By which I mean do put out. Or hopefully she’ll put out.”

I laughed, and shot back, “You suck!”

Which of course made her respond, “I don’t, but hopefully she will! Wait, that doesn’t work…”

I almost reminded her that, no, the parts I have does let that joke work. But just kept my mouth shut and smiled.

(And don’t worry, I’ll do a post on how the date went.)

Lookin’ for a newer model

By , May 2, 2010 7:22 pm

I'd sort of like to BE the girl, IN the car. And we'd both have rustproofing.

My stomach has continued to bother me on and off for the last few weeks, and today a friend asked how I was doing.

HIM: How’re you? And your tummy?

ME: I’d like to trade this body in. I can do 10% down and $399 a month for a new model.

HIM: Yeah, but for $399 a month you can only get B-cups. C-cups cost an extra $50 a month. Especially if you want rustproofing.

My question now: What part needs rustproofing?!

Papier du toilet

By , April 27, 2010 1:34 am

“I need to pee I need to pee I need to PEE!”

I came running into the apartment, dropping my purse and jacket on the dining room table and yelling a brief “Hello” to my roommate in the kitchen. She yelled back, “We’re out of toilet paper!”

“So?” I replied, “I’m peeing.” I almost instantly realized what had happened, and laughed. When I came out, I said to her, “Yeah, I’m still a shaker, not a wiper. Standing up to pee is awesome. But I think it’s really sweet you forgot that!”

Her reply, “Well, I don’t know your routine!” just made me laugh harder.

(I make no apologies for my utter fail at French. It’s one of the many languages I was unable to learn in school.)

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