Velociraptor ROAR!

By , July 1, 2010 12:34 pm

This is why I love my landlords. In late May, I sent them the following email:

After discussing things with some friends, I realized our apartment is woefully unprepared for a velociraptor attack. I was wondering what, if anything, you plan to do about this oversight. Suggestions include, but are not limited to:

  • A guard T-Rex
  • Electrified fence (note the importance of backup generators)
  • Really shiny cabinets in the kitchen to allow for confusing the velociraptors while being chased
  • Giant moats

Please advise.

This led to a discussion with them about the apartment’s (lack of) dinosaur protection, and a question about what substances I was on when I sent the email. (For the record, I was sober. Just tired and loopy.) The discussion ended with them saying I should “absolutely not” be reassured, and that if velociraptors attacked “we would all die.”

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