Oh father of mine

By , May 29, 2010 9:04 pm

I'm not convinced my father could carry me on his shoulders these days...

Earlier this week, I asked my mom to call my dad. I hate having her act as an intermediary between the two of us, but I wanted to figure out what – if anything – he’d be doing about my hospital bills and insurance since my telling him off. He’s been speaking with the “risk management” department at the first ER I visited, because when I finally got my gallbladder out they strongly implied the first ER should have caught the gallstones.

So my mom called my dad. She said she’d thought things out beforehand, and opened by asking him, “Rebecca asked me to talk to you about the insurance situation, and if you need to return any of the paperwork to her.” (My mom knew he didn’t, as I’d provided him with copies, but wasn’t sure how to say “So are you continuing to help your daughter while refusing to speak to her, or not?” without sound like she was judging him. Which she was, but didn’t want to sound like it.) He replied, “Nope. She’s fine to speak to the hospital herself,” and said goodbye.

About three minutes later, he called my mom back. “I don’t like you being a go-between for Rebecca and I.”

My mom said that she didn’t want to be a go-between either, but just wanted to figure out what was happening with the hospital and insurance.

Ever the tactful one, my dad told my mom that “Rebecca can call me herself. But I won’t be calling her until I hear from her. So I guess she’ll have to figure things out with the hospital on her own.” And, that said, hung up on my mom.

I’m not too concerned about the hospital. Worst case scenario is I pay them the ~$1,000 they say I owe. That’ll obviously suck, but my insurance is covering the vast majority of the expenses, so I wont have to go into debt or anything too bad. I know my mom said she’d help with the bills, too.

And, to some extent, it’s nice not having to deal with my dad for a while. Obviously it’d be nicer to not have to “deal” with him because we were speaking and he didn’t need “dealing with,” but this is a (distant) second-place substitute.

One less thing I have to think about. Anyone want to start a pool on if or when I’ll hear from him? Because he won’t be hearing from me.

3 Responses to “Oh father of mine”

  1. Zoë Suzanna says:

    Sorry to hear about your father though I can understand as he sounds like mine… Hang in there! 🙂

  2. Maddie says:

    Sometimes I think that, hard as it can be, some people need to understand just how important it is that they do make an effort. That always messing up, that never making the effort to change their view of you, is not only not fair, but not showing you love. One can give them all the time in the world to “get used to you”, to “be comfortable” but if they aren’t even trying patience is only going to seem like you are giving them tacit approval for their lack of respect. I’ve had similar issues with one or two people. I feel for you, Rebecca.

    (ps, I moved over to wordpress.com so my new blog sent new pingbacks to yours <.< oops)

    • Rebecca says:

      Hia Maddie! NO worries about the pingbacks.

      And I agree that there’s a difference between giving someone time and letting someone walk over you. It’s taken a while for me to realize it, and there’s (unfortunately) not always an easy way to tell the difference. Thanks, and sorry you’ve had to deal with something similar.

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