Call and Response

By , May 14, 2010 10:06 pm

As I mentioned, my stay at the hospital was gender-affirming. For the most part. One of the big problems, though, was my dad. I think it was because he was so nervous and worried about me (which is a good thing) but he just could not use the proper pronouns. It got to the point where I felt like we were involved in some sort of odd call and response activity:

“Well, his pain hasn’t been that bad…”


“He’s finally on solid food.”


“I was talking with him earlier, and he said…”

“Her. She.”

It was kind of infuriating. My dad said, with some legitimacy, that my mom has had more time with me than he has. But, in my frustration, I could only respond, “I’ve been out to you for ten years. I’ve been transitioning for three years. You’ve had time.”

Maybe not the most tactful response, but just as true.

2 Responses to “Call and Response”

  1. Jonah says:

    My maternal grandfather (who died a year and a half ago) had a great way of dealing with people who messed up on my pronouns/gender words (ie, ma’am). He would use the wrong words for them. Like if it was a woman, he’d insert a “sir” into his sentences talking to her. I don’t do that, but it made me laugh. And feel supported.

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