Just got back from my therapist where, through many tears, I was able to talk about feeling depressed, miserable, not wanting to eat, and thinking about hurting myself.
She gave me a mini to-do list, which I’m working my way through. I called my mom to talk to her, and we both cried a bit. I don’t know that I’m going to go up and stay with her tonight, but maybe tomorrow or this weekend. Play with the cats a bit. I’m putting off calling my dad, but need to do that next.
I also let the lead teacher of the high school class I’m working with know I couldn’t come to tech this weekend and next week. Which really sucks. More than anything else, I feel bad about dropping that commitment.
I also called my doctor to schedule an appointment and get my hormone levels checked, as well as get a prescription for an antidepressant.
The last few items on my short-term list (trying not to think long-term at the moment) are calling my boss and saying I won’t be in the rest of the week, putting an auto-reply up on my work email, and talking to my roommates. And calling my dad.
Working on breathing. I’m told that’s a good thing. And, I think, after having dinner I may go downstairs and play with my landlords’ dogs. That’s always good therapy.
Edit: Calling my boss was almost worth it, just to hear the sudden change in his voice when I started crying at him. I really didn’t mean to, and was hoping to make it through the conversation without crying, but by god it garnered a sympathetic reaction.