The transphobic, cissexist people in our lives

By , May 31, 2009 11:17 am

I’m just stirring up trouble lately! A friend of mine has  a blog that I follow, as he often posts amusing or interesting videos and links. Earlier this weekend he posted the clip from Ace Ventura which parodies The Crying Game, after ace discovers the woman he’s been involved with is “really” a man.

I called him out on it, and now he’s calling me sanctimonious.

Continue reading 'The transphobic, cissexist people in our lives'»

Are you undergoing a transgender experience?

By , May 30, 2009 5:01 pm

That’s the question I was asked this afternoon: “So Rebecca, are you undergoing a transgender experience?”

I was at part one of a two-day workshop led by members of the Tectonic Theater Project – best known for The Laramie Project – on Moment Theater. We were taking a brief break and one of the other participants came up to me and, without any pretense, sprung that question on me.

Continue reading 'Are you undergoing a transgender experience?'»

Staying positive

By , May 30, 2009 4:44 pm

I recently read a post about luck. It said that you focus on remembering situations of good luck and not focussing on bad, you’ll feel like a lucky person, even if your “actual” luck (whatever that means) doesn’t change.

In that vein, I’m not going to focus on the brat I heard in the hall today asking her mom, “Was that a boy or a girl?” (She really is a brat. Her teacher confirmed it.)

Instead, I’m going to focus on something my roommate told me.

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The definition of overwhelming?

By , May 29, 2009 7:20 pm

Trying on swimsuits all by my lonesome.

That in and of itself deserves a larger post sometime soon, but I also wanted to mention before it slips my mind that I was at the Target my roommate brought up a while back. I saw a woman who I would, indeed, read as trans . And although I hated myself the second I did it, my first reaction was thinking, “Oh, that’s who my roommate meant.” I hated myself for thinking that because I don’t want others to think that way about myself. And, as a larger issue, because I still have a lot of internalized  transphobia.

When I started writing this post, my first draft included “I saw a woman who I would, indeed, read as trans (although very pretty)” (italics are what was removed).  I subconciously or unconciously felt I needed to soften my reading of her by calling attention to the positive aspects of her appearance, as if being read as trans was inherently a negative. That reading her as trans was the same as saying  “Oh, no, you can hardly see the stain,” because the point is you can see the stain and everyone knows the stain is bad.

I don’t know how to get out of this mindset. I would love any thoughts or suggestions,  becuase I think it’s ultimately a very self-destructive place to be.

And I’m not even sure where I want to be when thinking about gender. Should I have simply taken in her appearance as part of her and and not leapt to ‘trans’? Should I have still acknowledged that she appeared to be trans but not placed a value judgement on that? Should I not be trying to assign gender to people I see in the first place? I don’t know. All of those mindsets also seem to have some problem associated with them.


New theme!

By , May 27, 2009 1:29 pm

Sorry to those of you who have been visiting over the last hour or so. I’ve been playing with finding a new theme (to enable WordPress’s 2.7 addition of threaded comments) and have had some trouble figuring out what works. Expect some random theme changes over the next few days… Nothing should break.


On the upside, you can reply to specific posts now, instead of having one giant, flat discussion!

The Great Trans Feminist Blogging Shakeup of 2009

By , May 26, 2009 12:33 am

I recently mentioned that I had submitted a question about trans women’s sexuality to Feministing and the question was chosen for their sex advice column and posted here.  To my surprise, the discussion in the comments was mostly about how to hold a discussion on trans issues, and responding to transphobic posts. I was disappointed to see this, and this post is an attempt to gather my thoughts about how (whether?) a trans-specific discussion can be held on a site that does not have a trans-specific focus. (I do want to make sure to point out that the vast majority of the posts were not transphobic, and that there were definitely some good comments, advice, and links. I don’t want to make it sound like there was nothing of value in the discussion, or that I regret submitting the question, because neither of those is true.)

But first, lets go back in time a month or so and look at a similar discussion on trans issues which happened at Feministing and Feministe in mid April.

Continue reading 'The Great Trans Feminist Blogging Shakeup of 2009'»

On an unrelated note…

By , May 25, 2009 2:24 am

…stupid series finale of Angel making me cry.


Transitioning and Changing Sexuality

By , May 25, 2009 1:29 am

Feministing has a regular sex advice column called Ask Professor Foxy. I submitted a question about sexuality changing over the course of the transition, which was posted – along with a response – earlier today. The basis of the question was this: I’m a trans woman in the process of transitioning, and having a lot of frustration in figuring out how to deal with my ever-changing sexuality.

And from the resposne:

Part of this process is also going to have to be exploring your new body and your new desires and not judging yourself during this process. You can even think of it as a burden or as an extra gift during transition. Unlike cisgendered women, who typically have to get used to things on their body, you are going to be able to explore things on your body that you very much want: the breasts, the hips you will likely develop. Enjoy it!

It’s definitely worth reading, but what’s a lot more interesting is the comments…

Continue reading 'Transitioning and Changing Sexuality'»


By , May 24, 2009 11:25 pm

I’ve been getting a lot of visitors lately from StumbleUpon, but I’m not sure how or why. Does anyone else have any experience with the site, or its visitors? Google Analytics says people from StubleUpon are sticking around for a few minutes, so (assuming that’s correct) I’m not complaining, but I am curious about any big change in visitor traffic…


Random links of note

By , May 23, 2009 7:45 pm

A few links I’ve been meaning to write posts on, but don’t know that I’ll get around to:

  • T-Central – “A comprehensive listing of Trans-Related Bloggers and News Sites.” The postings themselves haven’t seemed too amazing, but they do have the most extensive list of trans and trans-related blog/news sites I’ve seen.
  • Womanist Musings – Interesting posts on womanist issues.
  • Five axioms about gender and bodies from Questioning Transphobia – Some general thoughts about how to discuss gender and bodies from a perspective that isn’t cis-centric.
  • Not Another Whiney T-Girl – Jamie’s blog is  somewhat obnoxious, occasionally sexist, and pretty darn offensive. (And she knows it.) That said, it’s pretty entertaining.



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