Stuck in a rut

By , April 21, 2009 11:08 pm

Sorry I haven’t posted for a few days. I’ve been really down, and still feeling like I’m in a rut. I’ve been thinking about when I last felt so consistently shitty, and finally realized it was pre-transition. That got me thinking about what I have left ‘to do,’ which was part of where the previous post (about surgery) came from. The other thing that’s been on my mind is legally changing my name.

I talked briefly with my mom about it tonight, and asked her what her thoughts were. Specifically, if she had any thoughts about a middle name. (My mom is doing much better, by the way; up and about with a walker, and will probably be sent home on Saturday.) She said she needed to think about it, but nothing leapt to her mind. I then suggested her last name (‘maiden’ name), which brought tears to her eyes. I think that makes it the right decision, although I want to let it sit a little more, which brings me to actually changing my name…

My dad is a lawyer, and I usually go to him for legal advice and guidance. However, he’s had a tough time dealing with the transition, and I was reluctant to ask him for help. But, after talking with my therapist yesterday (ahhh, therapy…) I decided I should for a few reasons. First, it made me feel better about our relationship – even if he says ‘no,’ I still was comfortable enough in myself to ask him. But, second, hopefully he will say yes, and give him an opportunity to help with the transition in his area of expertice. He got back and said he’ll look into it, which is at least a good first step.

So, we’ll see. Changing your name takes 6-8 weeks once the process is started, and I haven’t actually started it yet, so we’re still a ways away from new IDs and such. But I guess I do feel a little better having even taken that step.


One Response to “Stuck in a rut”

  1. M says:

    Depending how long it actually takes you could officially be R by the time I get to Chicago!

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