In my most recent post I mentioned how I’ve been forgetting to eat when I’m stressed. And I had a moment where I realized that, if someone described the situation from the outside, I would feel very differently about things than I do from within.
That is, how would I respond if someone said to me, “I have this friend whose been really stressed lately. In fact, a few times in the last month or so she’s forgotten to eat and has made herself sick as a result – she gets really nauseous and dizzy, and one time was out of commission for over 12 hours. Do you think she’s developing an eating disorder?”
I’d probably say yes. Not a conscious one – she isn’t chosing not to eat to lose weight, or as an intentional defense mechanism – but yeah, probably.
And I’m working on it now, so I don’t think it’s the end of the world or anything. But what else is going on my my life that I don’t see from the inside?
Warning signs I’m over-stressed about something(s):
- I stay up late reading when I know I should go to bed
- Particularly true if I’m rereading a book, so already know what happens, and I stay up late reading anyway
- I start reading more trans fiction, particularly forced-feminization fiction
- This has been the subject of pasts posts and – since I’m doing it again – probably the subject of a new post one of these days
- New! Apparently, I forget to eat when I’m stressed
- Three times in the last two months I’ve forgotten to eat a meal or two, gotten horrendously dizzy, and knocked myself out of commission for 6-12 hours
And it’s just great that, within the last 24 hours, I’ve hit all three. It’s like it was a contest or something…
Me: I managed to sell that old laptop they gave me on Craigslist and I want to get your roommates something nice.
G: OK. Well, they’re moving in a few months, so probably something consumable or portable.
Me: Or rideable.
G: Like a pony.
Me: Or a jet-skie.
G: Or a male stripper.