More Good News/Bad News -OR- Why baby trannies shouldn’t be allowed out by themselves

By , December 31, 2008 1:21 am

(Yet again, if you don’t care about how my boobs are doing you probably don’t need to read this post…)

So I sucked it up today and went to Victoria’s Secret where I learned a few things. Again, we’ll do bad news first.

The bad news is that the bras I got are, ultimately, uncomfortable and a bit too small, so will need to be returned. Specifically, the end of the underwire, between the cups, digs into my sternum rather painfully, and they’re all already stretched on the last set of hooks.

The good news is that I was sized at Victoria’s Secret and apparently my own guess of 38A wasn’t horrible, but I forgot that that also means 36B and 34C, which is how they ultimately sized me. So, armed with that knowledge, I am now more confident in my ability to find a bra (or, dare I say, bras) that fit me, get me out of the sports bras I’ve been wearing for a year, and are actually comfy.

The bonus good news is that, even with feeling a little bummed that the stuff I spent money on needs to be returned (and the friends I’ve talked to tonight ultimately said “Oh, I’m not a huge van of Victoria’s Secret’s bras…”), I was able to do it without having a panic attack and I went to Old Navy and got some tops and khakis I like and I got my hair cut today and like that, too.

As I said to some friends, I think spending all that money on clothing and hair and enjoying it means I’m suffering from estrogen poisoning, but I aint’ complaining…


Second round of hair removal

By , December 26, 2008 9:58 pm

I had the first part of the second round of hair removal today, covering my arms and torso (I go back on Sunday for my legs).  It went much better than last time, for a couple reasons.

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Bad news, good news, and bonus good news (and bonus bad news)

By , December 24, 2008 4:27 pm

Which do you want first? We’ll do bad news first. (You should probably stop reading at this point if you don’t really care about my boobs.)

The bad news is my torso is apparently too large and my boobs too small to fit the straps and cups of the largest/smallest bra Target sells (36A).

The good news is that some creative scissoring meant the padded cups from the ill-fitting bras have allowed me to expand my bust considerably, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say-no-more.

The bonus good news is I just went out boot shopping, was ma’amed, and no one blinked as I was trying on women’s shoes. The cashier did pause for a second when seeing the name on my credit card, but she didn’t give me any trouble (and it could have been my imagination to begin with).

EDIT: The bonus bad news is that putting padding in a bra without padding inserts causes the wearer to develop mondo uni-boob after a few hours. (Who knew?)

The double-bonus good is it still made me feel better about myself for a little while.


Coming out letter to parents

By , December 22, 2008 11:57 am

Here’s the coming-out letter that, with slight modifications, went out to the parents of my highschool class, the board of directors, and the rest of the teaching staff:

To the parents of [the class],

We want to make you aware one of our instructors had a conversation with [the class] members today where she explained she identifies as transgender. In general, transgender means people whose physical genders do not align with how they see themselves.  Specifically, this means that R, who previously used the name J, identifies as a woman, not as a man. In addition, she is transitioning, which means she is moving from presenting herself and interacting with the world as a man to doing so as a woman.

Continue reading 'Coming out letter to parents'»

I hate myself for it…

By , December 22, 2008 12:16 am

…but when interacting with other trans people, particularly trans women, I try to read them. It really makes me feel disgusted with myself, and I’m trying to stop.


(I’ve noticed this for a while, but particularly as I was watching the very-enjoyable Trannystar Galactica videos on YouTube.)

One down, oh-so-many to go…

By , December 21, 2008 11:57 am

Coming out to my highschool class ended up going pretty well. The board member liaison and I hashed out language for the email and letter going to parents, which included (basically) the following bathroom language:

We are sure some of you are curious about the restrooms facilities at our building, and we would like to reassure you that there are both public and private restrooms available.

Basically, this was a compromise to not explicitly indicate that I’d be using a private bathroom (I won’t be) but to let parents think that if they want, and let them tell their kids to use the private bathroom if need be. I still didn’t like it, but was willing to agree to it in the interest of diplomacy and compromise.

Continue reading 'One down, oh-so-many to go…'»

Get over the bathroom!

By , December 19, 2008 11:20 pm

The previous post mentions this, but I’m sort of getting tired of how much the ‘bathroom issue’ has been discussed at work. Specifically, at the Workshop, where I interact with minors, with children, a member of the board has (grudgingly) backed down about addressing the ‘bathroom issue’ in an email out to parents but did say “We know we will be receiving calls about all kinds of issues but believe the most pressing will be in regards to the rest rooms. Pls advise how you would prefer this question be answered.”

I’m also getting tired of avoiding the issue – “this question”? If she’s worried parents are going to call in about a pervert in the bathrooms with their darling little angels then fucking say so.


EDIT: I’ve been sitting at the computer for 20 minutes trying to figure out how to respond to the email and I’m just at the end of my rope. I was originally trying to come up with multiple answers based on whether or not the inquery was polite, but now I’m just saying this:

For the bathroom issue, or any pressing personal question, I imagine the ideal response would be “Illinois state law forbids me from asking that question of Rebecca, but she’s been at the Workshop for fifteen years and has our complete support. More to the point, we would never employ any teacher who we did not trust or who would put any of our students in any potential danger.”

It’s slightly blunt, but I’m sort of done playing beat-around-the-bush. I’m so amazingly not comfortable answering questions about bathroom use, I’m not legally obligated to do so, and I don’t think I’m morally obligated easier. Yes, it might make some parents feel better, but there’s a limit to how far I’m willing to bend over backwards and I think I’ve been damn well accomodating thus far.

Always the bathrooms…

By , December 18, 2008 12:29 am

I’m dealing with transitioning at work and –  surprise surprise! – the issue of  bathrooms is coming up. Well, Autumn at The View From (Ab)Normal Heights has a post up which linked to Riftgirl’s The Politics of P. How topical! And how well said!


Trans and Judaism

By , December 17, 2008 7:59 pm

I was raised as a relatively secular Jew, and identify alternatingly as agnostic, a secular Jew, and a Humanistic Jew, depending on my spiritual feelings at the moment. (Usually one of the first two, occasionally as the third.) As such, I don’t hold a huge amount of personal stake in what the religious Jewish community feels about trans issues. That is, while I do feel some emotional connection to the Jewish community (how big is as varrying as how I describe my religious identity) how Jewish religious scholars feel about same-sex and trans issues won’t make me change my attitudes on transitioning or same-sex relationships any more than Christian or Muslim scholars would change my mind.

Nevertheless, it’s nice to see TransTorah, a resource which “helps people of all genders to fully access and transform Jewish tradition, and helps Jewish communities to be welcoming sanctuaries for people of all genders.” A friend of mine emailed me the page, and I’ve been exploring it’s (somewhat sparse) resources. I particularly like the Blessings for Transitioning Genders, and will file it away with my secular Chanukah blessing


Making a list…

By , December 16, 2008 10:41 am

Unfortunately, it’s of stresses, not of how I judge the children I’ve been spying on all year long. (A subject for another post!)

  • Transitioning at my full-time job, because I still need to talk to my occasionally-less-than-sane bosses (who I’m out to, but who I doubt have thought about the ramifications of my being trans…)
  • Transitioning at my part-time job, because even though I’ve been there for a million years (first as a student, now as a teacher) and the staff and artistic director are being crazy-supportive, their board of directors is being somewhat weird. I think it’s out of trying to protect everyone involved – me, the rest of the staff, the students, their parents, and the organization as a whole – but meeting being told they met with a labor lawyer still doesn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy…
  • How all of the transitioning stuff affects G and I. This is stressing me less than it had been, since we’re talking about things now, rather than always Talking about Things.
  • G and my relationship, having nothing to do with transitioning – she’s working on a show right now and we haven’t had much time together. Also better than it has been, but I’m still ready for her show to be done.
  • Stress at work having nothing to do with transitioning, but due to my (again) occasionally-less-than-sane bosses and, among other things, the new website that was supposed to launch yesterday and did not.
  • Dealing with the theatre company some friends and I started last year and trying to figure out A) what I can contribute (currently I’m not contributing much) and B) what I need to get out of it (currently I’m not getting much out of it either)

Phew! No wonder I’ve been stressed!


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