I talked with my therapist last night about what I’d ruminated on in this post about the Trans Day of Rememberance, and thought I’d share my thoughts.
Basically, I’ve been thinking about what community support I need right now. The mentorship and performance (final night went well!) have made me think about this, too. Basically, if I’m identifying as an out trans woman, and as a an out trans female performance artist, what do I need from those communities (queer in general, trans specifically, and artistic) and how do I want to allign myself with them?
The TDOR event was disapointing in large part because it didn’t satisfy my desire to be part of either community – trans or artistic – that I was hoping to get from the experience. On the flip side, I was very concious of how the different people who came to see the performance this weekend affected me – family, friends, people from the Workshop, and people from the trans youth group I’ve attended on-and-off. Each group was tremendously important, but the feedback from the two trans facilitators who came was somehow satisfying in a way I hadn’t previously experienced – these weren’t only people I respected as loved ones or as artists complimenting me, but other trans people who were saying I’d done a good job communicating something about that very unique experience.
And I want more of that, but I’m not entirely sure where to get it.