…and I hate myself, too

By , September 2, 2008 9:36 pm

I’m sitting at home. I got to the bowling alley (at 8:50, inevitably) with a message on my voicemail saying that people were going to EU’s before bowling, at which point I sent MG a text saying “I am going home” and, well, went home.

MG is now calling me (five times so far) and I, like the mature and reasonable adult that I am, am ignoring her calls.

I hate getting this angry over petty things.

I hate feeling stressed about an hour in one direction or the other.

I hate feeling obligated to do things I don’t want to do.

I hate my body, and the way my body makes me feel, and what it is.

I can look back over the last twenty-plus years and rarely have I asked, “Why me?” but right now I can’t find the energy to care about liking myself for who I am or getting behind the positive things going on in my life or all of the other self-actualizing things I should be doing.]

But I sure as hell can sit here and hate myself, and wish I wasn’t living at my mom’s anymore (less than three weeks left!) so that I didn’t have to deal with her on top of everything else.

So there.


I hate my friends (Yes, I know some of my friends read this)

By , September 2, 2008 8:12 pm

I was called and told that friends are going bowling at 8PM. Which is great, because that means it’ll actually be finished and I can be home in bed at a reasonable hour. After telling MG I was going to bite her if bowling actually started after eight, I was called (by another friend, to try and apply peer presure) and told bowling would actually at nine.


So now my friends are trying to pressure me into coming bowling at nine, later than I wanted to go, even though I’m pretty confident it won’t actually start until 9:15 or 9:30.


And I acknowledge that I’d probably have fun going bowling (even though I don’t really want to spend money on it, and don’t really want to be out that late) and that it might be more productive to do that than sit at home and sulk.

And now JM just called and said that if I can’t go and be her ride (leaving at about 8:45 and, indeed, not getting to bowling until 9:15 or so) she can’t go, because she doesn’t have a ride.


But AR just called and said JM does have a ride. So I agreed to go on the condition I’m going to be really surly about it.


(Still hate my friends. Grr.)

How Laser Hair Removal Works

By , September 2, 2008 12:13 am

A comment on this post asked for a little more detail on what laser hair removal entails (although G thought the commenter’s description, “I just picture you lying on a table while doctors shoot lasers at you and you whimper,” was pretty acurate to her understanding as well). (And, for those of you who’d like to skip ahead toward the end, where there’s a good bit involving how much it did hurt, feel free to do so now.)

First, lets cover how it works. Laser hair removal works by “selectively heating dark target matter, (melanin), in the area that causes hair growth, (the follicle), while not heating the rest of the skin.” (So sayeth Wikipedia.) What that means is they shoot a laser at a small area of skin and the wavelength is tuned to be absorbed by the melanin, destroying the follicle’s ability to grow hair. The area hit by the laser varies between specific lasers but (from my experience) is generally a bit smaller than the size of a dime. This means doing a large area (say, arms, legs, and torso) takes a long time and the denser or thicker the hair (facial hair or thick leg hair) takes longer. In addition, hair grows in cycles, meaning the hair growing now is not the hair that will be growing two months from now. So even if laser hair removal were 100% effective on active follicles (which it probably isn’t) you’d still need multiple sessions every couple months to cover each set of follicles as they become active, usually around every two months.

After a session, the hair will seem to be growing back at first but then (hopefully) the individual hairs will fall out. This is because there’s a little bit of hair still existing below the surface that doesn’t get removed with shaving (hence why waxing works for a longer period than shaving) and that little root beneath the skin still needs to get pushed out. Then, there’s a relatively hairless month, followed by a gradual return of hair as the next wave of follicles become active. (But hopefully less hair than was growing before!)

After that, it’s rinse and repeat.

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